I Hate Sharon

I hate Sharon not because she's totally in love with spuddie and spend every single minute talking about him nor because sometimes she is a deceiving person. I hate Sharon because she's makes fun of my writing and that makes me feel insecure. I have learn that feeling insecure was the key obstacle that held me back from improving in english criteria such as reading and writing. I remember during elementary school in 4th Grade for Mrs. Clark class students were grouped by reading abilities and were told to read to her out loud. I remember every time I was called on I would tried to read a couple of words, but when it didn't sound as smoothly as I thought it should be I felt embarrassed and stopped. Mrs. Clark would urge me to continue reading, but I felt that just made it worst and made my feel even more embarrassed. It's all really a blur because I really couldn't understand why at that time and now even that I couldn't just continue and try to improve my reading abilities. But instead, that feeling of insecurity and embarrassed unconsciously made me neglect improving my english abilities. Again in elementary, every time we were assign to read for 30 minutes at home, I would pretend to gaze over the book and then go outside to play. When we were assign to read in class for SSR (sustain silent reading) I would either pretend to gaze over the book while the teacher would be watching or fall asleep. Now, I realized that every since I started reading in elementary school, it wasn't because i hated reading that I chose not to read, but I was more afraid to read that prevented to improve my reading. I realized now that this fear of reading out loud have impaired my reading abilities today since I cannot read at the same level as an actual college student should. Also, I realized that a child's mind and emotions are very fragile because those few moments of embarrassment caused a chain reaction through the rest of my life. I'm glad I realized this now, not for my own future but for the future of my little sister. With this knowledge that negative reinforcement and criticism only causes embarrassment, I can stray away from those thinking and implement positive ones.